On splurging, sacrifice and budgets
While a lot of people seem to enjoy giving the (false) impression of living a rather rich and luxurious lifestyle, I have never had any problem admitting that I’ve been on a VERY tight budget for the past few years. As mentioned by Dr. Beth Snow a year or so ago when she was guest-blogging for my 2008 Blogathon, I have a little problem that starts with “c” and ends with “-rushing debt“. I am still YEARS away from being able to repay all of my debt. Therefore, it’s rare that I over-spend on anything. It’s rare that I accept invites to go out and have fancy dinners at luxurious restaurants. It’s even MORE rare that I splurge on anything that has to do with me. While I don’t deny myself of any real needs I have, I am not one to be spoiling myself.
I’m not even one to be indulging in, you know, crazy nights out anymore. I don’t even care about my UrbanSpoon ranking anymore. I can’t afford to be spending on dining out right now and probably won’t be for a few months. And it’s not that I’m not making money. I *am*, indeed. It’s more that while investing in my education, doing two Masters, one PhD and switching job markets while on a worldwide recession, my accrued debt grew fast.
That’s probably why I have been thinking a lot about the splurging I recently did while out and about in the Calgary malls – I bought myself 4 sweaters (beautiful), one pair of (tight) jeans which I desperately needed, and a dress shirt. And you know what the worst part is? That despite the fact that all of these items altogether would cost about 50% of what they normally would. But, still, a part of me kind of made me feel guilty.
“You’re splurging. You should be saving for your next student loan payment. What’s wrong with you?” – a little voice came inside me.
And then I reflected on what I had promised myself for 2010. I promised that I would be my own priority. I promised that I would be an integrated, full person again. I promised myself that I would be dancing and bringing myself back to a high technical level again and that I would return to competitive volleyball. All of that is going to require (possibly) money. And that means, I’ll have to re-purpose money.
The money I had budgeted for, you know, all those social occasions. I’ll have to funnel it back.
To MYSELF.
To the one person whose growth should be my top priority – MY OWN.
And you know what? That’s perfectly ok. I have to say, I feel quite proud of myself, right about now. I hope those of you who read me and those of you who care about me will feel just as proud too.
Most of the posts between December 20th and Jan 4th are pre-written and pre-scheduled. I will probably be unable to check for comments that are queued for approval, so please be patient. Still, I do look forward to reading any and all comments you all may have while I’m disconnected. Have a wonderful holiday!
No related posts.
Nobody can doubt your commitment to your friends, whether or not you’ve got the cash to lay out on us. We love you and we want you to take care of yourself.
And if you want a social coffee afternoon, you can always stop by my (non-mobile) office. I’ll hook you up!