On retiring at the top of my game

When I injured my knee a few years ago, at an international volleyball event, I knew my volleyball career was over. I was retiring, but not because it was my choice. I was retiring from the sport I have loved the most because something else had terminated my career: an injury.

Contrary to my (rather illustrious) career in volleyball, retiring from blogging is a choice I could easily make. Not a decision that would be prompted because something more forceful would take me out. In the case of volleyball, I HAD to quit. There would be no way I would be EVER able to play competitively to the provincial and national levels. Not with that injury.

But in blogging, it’s different. I didn’t start out blogging to make a name for myself. I didn’t start with the goal to be the biggest, best, more relevant blogger in Vancouver. I started because I wanted to have a voice and to be heard. I still do. I still blog because I love it, not because I need it. I attend events and write about them, because I find something interesting to say about them. I don’t NEED to be invited. I can, and I often am, but I decline hundreds of invites. HUNDREDS.

I know there’s a number of bloggers in Vancouver out to make a name for themselves. They feel competitive, they feel the need to have a place in the social media space. I don’t. I understand where you, all those social media types, are coming from. You can go and chase invites, try to make your mark. Go ahead. Ask, demand if you feel compelled. I am not competing with you. I’m not competing with anyone. Not even with myself.

I have been meditating on the possibility of retiring Hummingbird604.com. And whenever that possibility comes to my mind, I think about all I have accomplished. I have given the Vancouver (and Canadian) arts community (dance, theatre, fine arts) a voice. I have promoted innumerable non-profits. I have fundraised using the power of my blog and I have made a mark on many, many people’s lives. I could retire any time now and I would be retiring at the top of my game.

It’s American Thanksgiving and there are many reasons why I am giving thanks. I am thankful for the friends who are honest with me (and am thankful to those who are dishonest too, because you know, I know that you are lying and talking behind my back even when you think I can’t even tell — you really don’t know me at all). I am thankful to the people who stand by my side and have my back whenever everybody else doesn’t. I am thankful for the amazing online community I have built. I am thankful that I have established a presence and done the things I love for as long as I have.

If I *ever* retire Hummingbird604.com, if I ever stop blogging, I know I have done it with the utmost integrity, with the best interest of my community at heart, and despite the numerous attacks (anonymous and not-so-anonymous) I have received. I have, indeed, done my best, where I’ve been, with whatever I can.

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