2011: a year of loss
2011 will go down in history as one of my most successful professional years. I was offered the course I’ve been wanting to teach for 5 years (Latin American Environmental Politics), my consulting practice is thriving and I’m still doing research, publishing papers, doing fieldwork and advancing my academic career. I maintain a 1-2 course load during the academic year and for the first time I’m teaching a summer undergraduate course. Unfortunately, 2011 has also been a year of extreme loss for my loved ones and for me.
As of the time of writing, 8 people close to me have passed away and it’s not even middle of July. I’m at a loss, seriously. And at times, I’m emotionally numb. I’ve had to grieve in the face of life. I’ve had to put up a brave front and continue to do the stuff I’m supposed to be doing. It’s been a really rough year.
It’s been an emotional rollercoaster and one that doesn’t pull punches. The Vancouver riots even left me mentally and emotionally wounded. At times, all I’ve really wanted to do is escape and go to Paris for a year and forget about everything that’s been happening to my loved ones and around me. But I can’t really do that.
So I go on.
And to be quite frank, I don’t even find that much comfort in the online community. I find comfort in my offline life. I find comfort in doing things with the people I love. I find solace in spending time with my Mom, even if I do some work on my laptop while we watch a movie. I love going to Main Street for the Car Free Festival. I love having drinks with my friends, or a coffee, or go for a long walk. Or shop at dollar stores. You know, REAL LIFE.
2011 has showed me in many ways that, while my friend Alexandra Samuel is right in that online is also real life, and at times it also has kept me sane, I very much cherish my offline life. And I intend to continue living it to the fullest, for however long I’m borrowed to this world.
Related posts:
- My 2011 year in review: Focusing on myself before helping others
- 2011 in review: A year of personal loss
- 2011: The year of the budget
- Happy New Year 2011
- My 3 year blogiversary is on Thursday, April 23rd, 2009
I’ve been terribly depressed at times, and have managed to find solace in the online community, but that’s primarily because I was isolated from the IRL community through chronic illness at the time. Physical proximity is a powerful thing. It is not meaningless.
When I was going through my chronic illness I looked at where I was in Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs and it came to me that I was far more self-actualized than I officially “should” be. And that all came about through online achievements. They are not meaningless. BUT. We are physical beings, and physicality means something profound to us, even if we don’t understand why. Physicality is not sexuality. That’s confusing the subset for the set.
I’m not sure where I’m going with this (NeoCitran and Bombay Sapphire don’t mix) but you know what I mean. I honour your writing this post. We all need to check our boundaries and make sure they’re not too small, and not too large either. Do you know what I mean?
Raul, I treasure your offline friendship. Consider yourself invited to cry on my shoulder whenever the need arises. A Seabus ride won’t keep me away from you that easily.
Lorraine, I couldn’t agree more with what you wrote. And here’s to you.
So well said Raul. It is indeed difficult to sometimes keep going and enjoy the success of life when others are gone or sick. I find great comfort in the natural world. Watching a sunset, walking in the woods but even that can make me sad thinking of those that no longer can do it. I am also grateful for my online connections that have become real life . We must all continue our journey and grieve for those we have lost.
Hi Raul.
Life is certainly challenging at times. I put very little into Social Networking as I don’t personally like the clique’s I see and only speak to someone, I like or find interesting, when compelled to. I have a ton of respect for who you are and know you will take these hard times and turn them into something powerful. Be it personally or socially, online or off.
Myself I’ve had 4 years of fighting to get healthy, in and out hospital, surgeries but nothing in that entire time has been harder than watching my father fighting for his life right now. What I went through seems so small and insignificant and has made me either stronger, or numb, can’t figure that out yet.
My prayers to you for peace of mind and joy.
Hugs