Do actions speak louder than words? On saying “I love you”
I’ve blogged about how it looks almost as though some particular cultural groups and ethnicities seem to be able to say “I love you” more often than others. I am the kind of guy who will say “I love you” way faster and way earlier than other folks will say it to me. Saying it (and obviously meaning it) comes naturally to me, and I’m not sure if it’s my Latin blood or just the nature of who I am.
My brothers are very loving too, but they aren’t that particularly affectionate. They will often do stuff that clearly demonstrates how profoundly they love me, but they don’t usually say to me “I love you” or at least, not as often as I do.
This weekend, while at dinner with JT and one of his very best friends, we talked about saying I love you”. It occurred to me today that, while I definitely appreciate the gestures (and in particular, the grand gestures), I’m quite fond of being told “I love you”. As Valentine’s Day approaches, I usually tend to be more ‘mushy’ and affectionate towards my friends, because V-Day to me is more about the friendship than it is about romantic love.
I’m not saying that actions are irrelevant. Words without actual meaning or actions, don’t really show much love. But I think there is value in saying “I love you” as much as meaning it and doing stuff for your loved ones (friends, family and/or romantic partners).
What do YOU think?
I am spanish.. and I find it very difficult to say.. in a romantic way..
I think I’m scared.. having had bad experience with relationships in the past.. however.. a whole lot of therapy.. lol.. has hopefully fixed .. or rather taught me .. how to cope better with rejection and life..
I may just say it more often! 🙂
I think saying “I love you” to someone touches a spot in a way that actions don’t. I had a long conversation with my brother-in-law about how my mom’s not very affectionate, and doesn’t say “I love you” to me very often (not that I say it to her often enough, hmm) but she’ll write glowingly about my sisters and I on her blog. And one of my sisters got us in the habit of ending emails with “x” which I do everywhere now. (Or <3.) I enjoy telling friends I love them and surprising them with affection. Something that's quite remarkable at my workplace, actually, is how much love there is among us: the way we celebrate each other and our collective success; how we'll often use terms of affection to say thanks even in all-staff emails; and especially the support we give each other. Let's just say my team lead (you know him) had such a rough day on Thursday, at the end of the day he had 3 of us girls hugging him all at once. Yeah. We all love each other, and we mean it. Makes me a little weepy! And it makes our team and friendships really strong! Speaking of which — I'll make Valentine's Day all about friendship love. That's a GREAT idea!
Very interesting topic … I find my significant other and I talk about this more and more as time goes on.
I find it difficult to say frequently, but I think that stems from an negative relationship with my paternal father (He used ‘I Love you’ as a fix-it statement.) And I prefer to let my actions speak for my heart.
On the otherhand, my significant other takes it very personal that I cannot tell her frequently.
Sometimes hard to find that balance, so both of us feel loved and special. Still trying harder to say it more frequently 🙂