Breaking free from silence: Speaking out about mental health
I’ve been pondering for weeks about the slogan for Mental Health Camp Vancouver 2010 (Isabella Mori, one of my closest friends and my co-organizer for MHC is in Europe at the moment, and she has been having to deal with personal stuff, so I haven’t wanted to bother her with bouncing ideas back and forth). We agreed before she left that the theme for Mental Health Camp Vancouver 2010 would be around how silence fosters and perpetuates the stigma of mental illness (stigmatization through silence). Not speaking about mental illness and mental health neglects its importance and cripples the sufferer of any mental illness by not having anyone to tell or anywhere to turn.
Recently, two celebrity parents (Marie Osmond and Walter Koenig) suffered the painful loss of their children, former child-actor Andrew Koenig (who took his life and whose body was found in Stanley Park in Vancouver) and 18-year-old Michael Blosil (who according to reports, leapt to his death this past Friday). A recent TrueSlant article by my friend Lorraine Murphy makes the point that
Celebrity is a two-edged sword, ask anyone famous enough to have an IMDB page, but sometimes that sword can be uplifted to cut through barriers which should never have existed in the first place.
To which I say – ABSOLUTELY TRUE. Lorraine is right. The fact is, if Walter Koenig, Marie Osmond and many other celebrity parents and celebrities themselves can encourage people afflicted with deep depression to seek help when afflicted with suicidal thoughts, the better. I have on more than one occasion said that if there’s anything that I do that has an ulterior motive is use my social media and online popularity to highlight worthy causes (like cancer research, HIV prevention and speaking out about mental health). That’s mostly why I do what I do.
Up until November of 2003, I had NEVER been afflicted with depression. An overachiever pretty much since I was born, I was one of five amazing brothers. I have had a life that I wouldn’t trade for anyone. Outstanding brothers, adoring parents and grandparents and uncles and aunts, a family that many wish they had born within. And I clearly remember when I told my Mom and Dad “wow, I am so lucky … I don’t know what depression feels like…” Little did I know that I would be heartbroken less than 2 weeks after I said this.
I survived my heartbreak, in no small part thanks to the support of my family, my parents (Mom, primarily) and my friends. And I did seek professional help (I went to Student Services’ Counselling). Five years later, in late November of 2008 (a few months before I even thought about organizing Mental Health Camp), at around 2.40am, I started feeling horribly depressed (not sure why, to this day). I felt like a loser, someone who had accomplished so much in previous years only to be a nobody then. And through talking on GTalk with Lorraine Murphy, she got me out of my rut, helping me reframe how I perceived myself more in line with how others perceived me (a highly successful blogger who came out of nowhere and became very visible in the Vancouver social media community).
Credit: Karen Hamilton (Tiny Bites) on Flickr
After that one episode on November of 2008, I never have felt again really that depressed. I have, on occasion, felt down, blue, and I recognize that I am strongly affected by Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) so I have a SAD lamp always available. But I always monitor how I feel, and I always have close friends on speed-dial, Twitter, Facebook and Google Talk.
I have many, many friends who have spoken out openly about depression and silence and speaking out and how it has affected them (recent ones I’ve found are Smutty Steff’s and Cheeky Cici‘s. Sitting in a panel at Northern Voice ’09 on Coping Digitally (organized by Airdrie) and listening first hand the stories of how my friends Tod, Air and Isabella have faced depression/bipolarity, was the one thing that galvanized me to jump and tell Isabella that we needed to organize Mental Health Camp.
Terra makes a really good point – just because we speak out, it doesn’t mean that everyone HAS to speak out. But we both have chosen to do so. I have chosen to speak out, about homophobia, about stigma and mental illness, about the issues that matter to me. I choose to share how I feel because, as Robert Ballantyne pointed out to me on a phone conversation, people appreciate the fact that, no matter how successful or how much of an overachiever I am, I always show myself as I am. I show myself vulnerable.
I have shown you, on this post, that at least on two occasions, I’ve been deeply depressed. And I survived. Thanks to my own internal strength, but also thanks to the fact that I shared how I felt with people who love me and care about me. I have found that sharing the story of my life on my blog, on my Twitter account, helps me a lot. It helps me rebuild strength on a daily basis. You all, who read my site and my tweets, all of those who don’t read my online stuff but with whom I share a bond of love in real life as well, strengthen me on a daily basis.
I choose to speak out because I am tired of silence. So, while I have found the actual motto that I wanted to use for Mental Health Camp Vancouver 2010, “Seeing the Invisible, Speaking about the Unspoken”, I can’t really use it. Why? Because it is the title of a position paper on homophobia in sports by the The Canadian Association for the Advancement of Women and Sport and Physical Activity (CAAWS). So, lovely title, but a cause near and dear to my heart already owns it.
So, I came up with this other motto/slogan – “Breaking free from the shackles of silence: Speaking out about mental health through social media”. It may be a tad too long, and of course, I need to run it by Isabella first, and share it with the rest of the organizing committee, but I figure it kind of encompasses what Isabella and I are trying to accomplish: provide a safe haven for folks to share their stories, to stop the silencing.
Thoughts, as always, most welcome.
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Raul: This is a most excellent post, well worth reading.
As always, your openness and honesty are… stunning. (I can’t think of a better word)
You share your innermost thoughts and feelings, and make youjr readers re-examine their own lives. I have put on my “topics” list, a review of MY visit with depression, and how it affected myself, and my viewpoint.
The more of us that stand up and say, “Yeah, I had/have depression.” The less stigma will hopefully be attached. Thank you for writing such an amazingly personal and powerful article.
Great post! I wish more people would talk about mental illness and how it’s affected our lives. It would do a great deal toward reducing the stigma. Thank you!
Nicely done, my friend. I can’t wait for MHC10.
It’s positive to break down silent stigma and educate people about about mental health. However, it’s important with suicide to note the extensive literature on social contagion. Guidelines for ethical journalism are well-established for good reason.
But now that social media has made everyone the media, they aren’t following those ethics guidelines. An average Marie Osmond fan hasn’t been taught about journalism or suicidology and doesn’t realize, for example, that writing in detail about the method of death can lead to someone vulnerable copying that method. There are clusters of behaviour and any marketer and many psychologists can tell you how media influences it.
Here’s a good video, though it focuses on obesity it’s the same principle:
http://poptech.org/popcasts/james_fowler_power_of_networks
Definitely people need to talk about mental health, but not lurid details in quick tweets. When writing about suicide it’s important to communicate that there is hope, there are resources available to help (and how to reach them, like via 1-800-SUICIDE or 1-800-273-TALK), not to simplify the death as though suicide was a logical choice, and other guidelines from the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention in a great report, Reporting on Suicide: Recommendations for the Media.
http://www.afsp.org/index.cfm?fuseaction=home.viewpage&page_id=7852EBBC-9FB2-6691-54125A1AD4221E49
I would really like to see those guidelines adapted for new media, and I know that’s in progress but haven’t seen anything emerge yet. How might you adapt them, Raul?
Being vulnerable takes courage. Kudos to you.
Raul -
Nicely done. I love what you said here and how you said it. I’m putting July 10th in my calendar right now!
Thanks for your example and your support, very excited to see you this summer.
John
This is a very important theme, Raul, because you’re absolutely right – mental health is very inadequately understood, discussed or supported; and often the barrier to treatment is beyond institutional. That is not to say that mental health services don’t have a role to play – they clearly do – but the stigmatization of mental health in our society also prevents individuals from seeking treatment, and prevents families from being empowered with knowledge and resources that would make them more empathic and supportive when an individual within a family is struggling with mental health issues. However, as Sandra said above about social contagion, it is not only about silence but also about *noise*. When you are getting the right support, information and treatment, you can find ways to cope and improve your situation. But when you are getting the wrong, misleading or provocative information, it could be just as dangerous as silence/avoidance.
It is so great to meet others who share the desire to speak about the things that so many others do not want to speak about…these things that desperately need to be shared so that others do not suffer alone and so that the stigma can be shattered, as you stated.
Silence is painful and while there are and always will be those who do not choose or want to speak out, there are so many who can find comfort in the words of those who do.
I am not sure how this girl from the middle of the United States could get to Vancouver but it sure would be amazing and wonderful if I could be at Mental Health Camp 2010 somehow!
Thanks for sharing and doing what you do.
[...] Are Not Alone… Earlier this week, Raul Pacheco, a friend from Twitter, wrote a brilliant post about depression on his Blog, prompted by the children of Marie Osmond and Walter Koenig committing [...]
Great article way to go!
[...] Bob Gray in Music… Earlier this week, Raul Pacheco, a friend from Twitter, wrote a brilliant post about depression on his Blog, prompted by the children of Marie Osmond and Walter Koenig committing [...]