My passion for loving, and being loved

I think it’s reasonable to say that by the time we’ve hit the 2:00am (PST) mark, our brains are pretty delirious. I am, however, a creature of the night, and not surprising to many of my friends and followers, a very resilient creature. Against all odds, I have beaten some pretty grim odds, particularly at birth.

You all may not know this, but I was a breech baby and I had the umbilical cord tied around my neck. It was an incredibly rough labour for my mother. The signs of exploded blood vessels in my Mom’s eyes have not disappeared ever since. I have photographs from my mom’s beautiful eyes before she gave birth to me and after, and you can tell the difference. Mom had an extremely difficult delivery but with the help of forceps, a really experienced gyneco-obstetrician and The Powers That Be, I was born on an early morning of September, the 19th.

I have lived a wonderful life, by any measure. Not an easy one, but wonderful nonetheless. I have experienced an amazing number of challenges but I’ve survived them all including heartbreak. Almost six years ago, I met someone with whom I thought I would be spending the rest of my life. At a really critical juncture in my life I found out that the love of my life was no more and that I had been cheated on.

I remember calling my Mom and, without even saying a word, breaking down and sobbing incontrollably for 45 minutes over the phone. Mom knew exactly what had happened and did her very best to help me get back on my feet (as did my brothers and my Dad). I may have not had an easy life but what that demonstrated to me (and what I’ve known all my life) is that I have been incredibly, amazingly and overwhelmingly loved.

I know it is hard for people to deal with me sometimes. And while it’s easy to fall “in like with me”, it’s really hard to fall in love with me. I am intense. I am demanding. I set high standards for myself and for the people that I care for. I give it my all in every single situation. I love to the fullest, but that also means that I demand to be loved to the same extent.

Time has shown me time and again that not everybody thinks the way I do and nobody feels the same way I do. But you know what? I don’t care. I don’t know how to live otherwise. If I lived my life differently, i.e. if I was able to live a ‘level’ life where I wouldn’t have extreme highs and lows, I probably would be in another position. But I don’t really want to be at any other point in my life.

I love to be loved, and I love loving. And I do both equally passionately. And this blog that you read, the blog that has been popularized and grown in readership, is still the blog of the same Raul who started it in April of 2006. I’m still that guy. My passion is to love my neighbour just as much as I love myself (which, admittedly, is quite a lot).

I hope you enjoy reading this blog, because this is the canvas of my life.

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This is Entry # 41 of 49

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Related posts:

1. My family and loved ones are my priority
2. Having what you want and loving what you have
3. Loving profoundly, loving deeply, loving intensely
4. Guest post: A passion for being in love, by Nancy Zimmerman
5. The theme of my Blogathon 2009 is passion – what are YOU passionate about?