I avoid it like the plague, but my best friend is my girlfriend. I completely understand what you mean though…

Yeah, I have one best friend, and loads of other really wonderful friends. The “one” best friend has that “status” if you want to call it that because of a matrix of time-of-friendship, trust, and common values. We’ve known each other for 20 years, and so we are well acquainted with our respective histories; over time (and only repeated experiences over time can accomplish this) she has been trustworthy at the deep levels, and while our personalities/interests are different, we share similar core values and can encourage one another in those areas.

This in no way diminishes the value and loveliness of my other friendships.

Friends are precious enough. They don’t need labels to make them more so.

I think everyone is going to have their own personal take on this, as giving a label such as ‘best friend’ to someone is just as personal.

I have one particualr best friend, and she has that label to me because we’ve been best friends for 29 of our 30 years, through many changes, geographic moves, husbands & boyfriends, but have always stayed true to each other. My other best friend of course is my husband because of our commitment to each other and our future together.

I think there is no right or wrong here, and whether or not we give the label of ‘best friend’ to someone will be different for everyone.

Over the years, even as a child and student, I’ve had difficulty applying the ‘best friend’ label to anyone as well. For myself, as soon as I would reach that point where I felt that I knew that person well enough, circumstances would change or people would move and lose touch, etc. It takes me a long time to get to that comfort level with people, so that probably contributed to the difficulty I had.

The other thing that I find now is that I’m involved in so many different areas and have such varied groups of friends, as do all of my friends, it’s difficult for me to feel comfortable using the ‘best friend’ label. Plus, I also feel confused about how that is supposed to work anyway. If I pick one person as my best friend, what happens if I am not their best friend? Gets kind of complicated in my head so I prefer to avoid applying those kinds of labels altogether.

Certainly throughout high school I was actively looking for someone to fit that “best friend” label. Now, I do have one person who I refer to as my best friend, but as far as I know, none of my other friends feel slighted by it. My best friend is the only friend I have at this point in life who I have known since high school & she lives hundreds of miles away. I have lots of good friends here in Vancouver, but I reserve that label for the one who lives far away.

I have two that I routinely refer to as “my best friend,” but they are both out-of-state, and I think I use the label as convenience. I don’t expect all of my friends who don’t know Julie and Em to remember their names, so it’s easier to just say, “I’m going to Vancouver with my best friend next week.” Those two are the people that I can absolutely say anything to though, and am definitely closest with.

It’s weird, because although I’m still friends with “my best friend growing up,” I know we’re not “best” friends anymore. But for a long time, it seemed like a slight to her to call her “just” a friend, even though it wasn’t…we just simply drifted apart and aren’t as close.

Anyway, for me, I don’t think it has a huge status symbol, and I mainly just use the label to clarify when talking to other people, though there is some truth behind it. I think I’ve just talked in a complete circle, sorry.

my husband is my best friend and then gus.
i use the term bff a lot but i do generally reserve it for friendships of mine spanning over 10 years.
i don’t like any labels but im guilty of using them.
i’d say i have a lot of really good, great, fantastic friends but very few people that im really close too.

I have one best friend. He is not human though. Nor is he a dog. His name is Fairfax, and he is my guitar. We are having a little break right now. I hope its not too serious.

For my human friendships though, I stay away from the label “best friend” mostly because someone else might get hurt by it.

For me, its just enough to be a part of a tribe.

Interesting discussion. I never use the term myself, probably because it would be really hard to pick one friend who is closer than any other.

I mean, there are a lot of different ways to compare friendships. Some examples: trust, the duration of the friendship, exclusivity, how often you talk to or see the person, and whether or not you have similar values, interests, or passions.

Personally, I find different aspects of friendship with different people but I can imagine finding all of the above with one person. If you’re lucky. Otherwise, I suppose it becomes a matter of deciding what’s important to you.

I introduce someone as one of my closest / best friends. My best friend in the true sense of the world lives in Sydney, Australia. My husband is my soul mate. My soul mate and my best friend are my fuel.

“closest/best friends” always make it clear who her “best” friend is and I find it a little annoying at times. It makes you feel like your being ranked in the scale of friends.

This is why I say one of my … I’d rather keep the phrase general.

I avoid the label completely. I have a group of 8 friends that are my closest buddies and I couldn’t choose between them and say one is best, they are all unique.

I don’t think I could label anyone as a best friend these days except for 1 person; Robyn. All my other friends are great friends but like many of the other responses, I find it as I get older the ‘best friend’ label changes its meaning and reserved for the one I love.

I’ve long avoided the term “best friend” since grade school because it always seemed like the kiss of death. Once you sealed a friendship with that label, it always seemed to go up the creek. It’s only been in the last year that I’ve finally been able to call someone in particular my best friend simply because all that we have endured has solidified everything that he and I have, to the point where I have no doubts or hesitations.

I’m indifferent to how others choose to use the term.

Although friends have been always easy for me, I have been fortunate to have been surrounded by low maintenance friends. They’re the the types of friends that although you may not have talked in 4-6 months, within a matter of minutes you can feel like you’ve hardly been gone. I’m grateful for all of these people who have enriched my life, and I make sure to let them know that I do each time we talk.

I’ve been blessed that I’ve had someone who fits the role of Best Friend quite well. Him and I have been friends for the past 17 years since our pre-teen days, we’ve grown up together, going through the ups and downs of life together. Despite having lived at opposite ends of the country for the last 4 years, we’re still very close.

I’m also quite fortunate that I can also call my girlfriend my best friend. Through nearly 8 years we’ve been growing, and experiencing life together. It’s really made for an incredibly close bond that has kept us growing stronger throughout the years. They’re my best friends for a reason.