Thanks to everyone for your support

You can still donate to my Blogathon 2008 fundraising efforts for the BC Cancer Agency by clicking HERE

Dear everyone,

It’s 2008. One year after my first Blogathon. One year that has seen me grow as a person, as a blogger, as a scholar and researcher, but more importantly, as a human being. I’ve established new friendships, sever others, and make peace with my (previously) broken heart.

THANK YOU GUEST POSTERS

– Anya – Structured Moments
– Dr. Beth Snow – Not to be Trusted with Knives
– Dr. Melanie A. – Three Bears and a Cat
– Monica Hamburg – Me Like the Interwebs
– Maktaaq – Maktaaq.com
– Jodi Hamilton – Jodiferous.com
– J. Karen Parker – J. Karen Parker.ca
– Pat Zaph – Sh!thawks on Parade
– Airdrie Miller – Talking to Air and Lipgloss and Laptops
– Nancy Zimmerman – A Canadian Money Coach
– Derek K. Miller – Penmachine.com and Inside Home Recording
– Cecily Walker – Cecily.info
– Dr. Hisham Zerriffi – Liu Institute for Global Issues, UBC
– Karen Quinn Fung – Countably Infinite
– L.E. – The Lotus Effect
– Kate Milberry – Geeks and Global Justice
– Jeffery Simpson – Vancouver MetBlogs, Jeffery Simpson’s personal blog [EDITOR’S NOTE – Thanks for guest posting twice, you rock!]

You all are great writers, and great friends. I am REALLY grateful. Thanks for your support.

THANK YOU – SPONSORS

So far, I’ve raised about $ 280
– Fresh Start Recycling Ltd.
– Airdrie & Derek Miller
– Barbara Doduk in loving memory of Max Bruce
– Anonymous
– LF
– Anonymous
– Angela Crimeni & family
– Other donors – need to be processed

Your donations kept me going even though I was exhausted. Thanks for supporting the BC Cancer Agency!

THANK YOU – FELLOW BLOGATHONERS

Duane Storey, Rebecca Bollwitt, Shane Gibson, Karen Hamilton, Ayeza Garcia, Isabella Mori, Danny Dang, Mehnaz Thawer, INVOKE, Barbara Doduk, TAGGA, and Colleen Vince.

Your grit, effort and awesomeness inspired me.

THANK YOU – FOR ORGANIZING

Rebecca Bollwitt – Simply said, you are a role model, a friend and an inspiration.

THANK YOU – OUR READERS AND TWITTER FOLLOWERS

Your comments kept fuelling me, you made this a great conversation and a wonderful experience.

This is my last Blogathon Vancouver 2008 post. Thank you everyone.

Closing the cycle through recycling

This post is sponsored by Fresh Start Recycling Ltd. – Thank you for your generous donation to the BC Cancer Agency!

I’ve mentioned in previous posts how much it irks me when people forget about pressing environmental problems such as solid waste. In case you didn’t know, the Vancouver Landfill is filling up (geez, I wonder why?).

People are SO intent on working on issues of climate change, that they forget that solid waste is a priority issue. It’s funny, though. If people implemented the 3 R concept (Reduce, Reuse, Recycle), I am pretty sure it would be much easier to deal with the problem of solid waste.

However, the cycle is not closed completely by applying the 3R. That’s also why I enjoy the idea that Fresh Start offers – give the recycled stuff to charity. By giving back to the local community, Fresh Start atempts to close the gap between actual closed cycles and open cycles. I really enjoy this business model, and I am sure that they will be able to implement new fresh ideas (hence Fresh Start!) in the near future.

[EDITOR’S NOTE – And here is a link to Fresh Start’s blog!] Mosey over and check them out!

Being a superhero/comic nerd :) – Guest post by Jeffery Simpson

I’m going to be honest here, and this might lose me my guest blogging indie cred, but I do love myself some comic books. Yes, they’re comic books and not graphic novels. If your coffee drinking Watchmen reading friends keep insisting that they’re “graphic novels” then please slap them for me. Hard. They’re comic books or comics and they have been since Superman lifted that car on the cover of Action Comics #1 and even before that. If we want to start calling them graphic novels let’s start calling movies “motion books” and the radio “audio newspapers”.

“But Jeffery,” you say to your computer misunderstanding the blog technology and assuming that I can hear you, “I don’t want to read abot Spider-Man. I want a comic book that isn’t just a male power fantasy in spandex.”

I hear you. Well literally I don’t, because you know… technology, but I understand where you’re coming from. That’s why it’s good that I’ve got a list here of books you really should be reading. It does sort of dip into the caped crime fighting area a few times, but only when the work is really good. Very little of what follows is something to give to kids.

• Title: Powers
• By: Brian Michael Bendis (author), Michael Oeming (artist)
• Publisher: Image / Icon

I could just start by saying monkey sex, but let’s get the premise out of the way; superheroes are real, and this book is about the cops who have to clean up after them. Whether murdered by their arch-villains or killed during rough sex they die like the rest of us though they’re damn hard to autopsy.

The first volume hard cover is a good place to start for this title, and beware it’s adult.

• Title: Y: The Last Man
• By: Brian K. Vaughn (author), Pia Guerra (artist)
• Publisher: Vertigo

Yorick and his pet monkey Ampersand are the only male survivors of a plague that leaves females unaffected. With his girlfriend on the other-side of the world Yorick starts a journey to find her, while the governments of the world have their own plans for the last sperm donor on the planet. While it sometimes gets a bit heavy handed on the gender issues, the book is exciting, fun and packs an emotional wallop. I’ve never cried over a monkey like I cried over Ampersand.

The entire run of Y: The Last Man is available in trade paperbacks. It’s less mature than Powers, but still not something for kids.

• Title: Astonishing X-Men
• By:Joss Whedon (author), John Cassaday (artist)
• Publisher: Marvel

I wanted to pick one God damn straight forward superhero book and I went to the biggest best selling superhero team on the planet, the X-Men to do it. Known far more for his work creating shows like Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Angel and FireflyJoss Whedon turned his attention to comic books writing Marvel Comics’ merry mutants for two great story arcs. Even if you only have a passing interest in the X-Men held over from the first two movies, you will enjoy this book. It’s accessible for anyone, and has that patented Whedon dialogue to keep things moving along at a brisk pace.

All of Whedon’s work on Astonishing X-Menis available either in hardcover or trade paperback form.

Coffee shop review – Luna Cafe (Gastown)

This is, by and large, the weirdest coffee shop I have been to in years. The owner/cashier was funny yet I was slightly scared by her. So, it turns out, they DO have wi-fi (which is important if you’re waiting in between meetings in Gastown, and since many of the tech companies are actually located in this district, it kinda helps to hang out around here).

I know, Jordan did kind of scold me for not having come to the Strutta offices earlier (right before our BarCamp Vancouver 2008 meeting) which I could have done directly after lunch with Tanya (thus enjoying free wifi without having to buy a tea at Luna Cafe), but honestly I didn’t remember their office address (ooops) – which is the reason why I needed to find wifi before the meeting, to find out where it was going to be held.

So, back to the coffee shop review. Luna Cafe is spacious, well kept, clean. It’s great for coffee and geeking out, but I find that it’s kind of complicated to be there if your laptop battery is not so good (as is my case – although I can’t complain – for all the problems and issues I’ve had with my poor, broken eMachines, the battery was still able to tide me over from 1.40 to 3 pm, when I went to meet Jordan, Megan, Boris, David and James and talk geek shop about BarCamp organizational issues.

Would I recommend Luna Cafe to other geeks? Sure, why not. It’s a good coffee shop, spacious and they have decent tea, although I find it slightly pricier than coffee shops in the Main Street area. But if you’re just looking for a coffee shop where you can hang out and tide you over to the next meeting, sure, why not. This is the place.

Bikes + outdoor poetry = Saturday – Guest post by Kate Milberry

Kate Milberry is a doctoral candidate in SFU’s School of Communication and blogs, amongst others, at Geeks and Global Justice.

Today was a busy day. After entertaining last night, the whole clan cycled (puppy in the side pouch; one kid on the back, one in the trailer, one on his own bike) from East Van to Stanley Park for the Summer Dream Literary Arts Festival . Evelyn Lau was the starring attraction but she went on at noon and we didn’t leave the hood till 12:35pm. Whaddya gonna do? I remember Evelyn Lau from back in The Varsity days; she was all hot and cool because she was a teenage street kid/prostitute and wrote a book about it or whatever. Anyhow, I never read the book but I guess she wowed the CanLit scene and is still kickin’ around today.

The day was restful and because of a six-year-old in tow, our bike caravan went pretty slow, wending our way along the water and deking out pedestrians, baby strollers, old people and other meanderers. The litfest itself was sorta lame, but the kids area was enough for the kids and they were happy to listen to spoken word and the odd song from the shade and comfort of the craft tent. I found the mental break refreshing; I’m in the midst of writing an academic chapter for an edited collection about alternative media in Canada. I’m doing the Internet + activism chapter. Exactly. So I’ve spent most of the month agonizing about the damn thing. It’s going a bit better now – I’m about a third of the way through and have a clearer idea of how it’s going to unfold. But the angst and stomach-in-knots I could do without. Never mind I’m supposed to be writing my dissertation. I feel the knots tighten as I think of my upcoming trip “home” for a couple weeks and then preparing to teach in the fall. The dissertation will write itself, perhaps?

The Environmental Movement Needs You – Homer Simpson Has Already Joined – Guest post by Lotus Effect

This post was contributed by L.E. who blogs at The Lotus Effect.

I love the way Raul phrases his environmental passions: “Being a student of the Environment”. I’ve found myself amongst the dozens of people I know that have put their previous career paths aside and pursued environmentally-related position in hopes of making a difference (and I’ve abandoned any inclination to feel the least bit hesitant to say that making a difference bit 🙂 regardless of how trite it may be perceived by some).

So I’m confronted with it everyday – people wanting to do something, and we constantly hear.. “Just start anywhere.. it doesn’t’ matter where – the first step will introduce you to a plethora of options, and before you know it, you’ll come across something you’re really exited about.” Well, what if you don’t know where to take that first step? This is where this post comes in, I hope to offer some options of first steps that might lead you to your green passions. So here they go.

1) GREEN DRINKS The perfect combination – environmental geekery and sophisticated discussions with all kinds of people working in, or interested in the environment. I’ve only attended the Vancouver version twice, but it’s been a lot of fun – there is always a mix of veterans and solo flyers that show up without knowing a soul (but that is of course changed after the first beer). 🙂

2a) STORY OF STUFF This is a great little description of how the world currently works, some of the problems our actions are causing, and how to get involved in changing these patterns. The point with this one is.. simply reach out and learn more about how the world works, and how we can minimize our impact on the environment

2b) CRADLE TO CRADLE Similar to Option 2), this is a monumental piece of work that redefines the way we approach how we go about building stuff and creating the everyday objects we use. This novel concepts presented in cannot be called short of anything but a paradigm shift in the positive direction of what it means to be human. It’s simple, and beautiful…

If you’re interested in learning more without diving into the book, I’d recommend having a look at the TED talk featuring one of the authors (TED has numerous amazing talks on many other subjects including psychology, art, music, and technology. The one other talk that seems to be somewhat related would a brain scientist experiencing life a stroke in her left hemisphere, leaving her exposed to the raw experience of living life through her right – creative, loving, unified hemisphere – the experience’s lesson – if we use both of our brain real estate (Left AND right hemisphere), then we are much more in tune with others, and the environment around us – have a look).

2c) INCONVENIENT TRUTH If you haven’t seen it yet.. The only thing i gotta say about this one – i think any movie that helps someone win the Nobel Peace Prize might – just might be worth watching.

3) TAKE A HIKE I’m not kidding. Go get outside. Listen to the silence of the air and the stillness of your thoughts. There are many accessible parks in the Metro Vancouver area. Some of my favorites include Lighthouse Park (which is easily accessible by public transit, but surprisingly beautiful and secluded), the Grouse Grind if you’re adventurous, Shannon Falls or Bridal Veil Falls (if you prefer a light walk in the woods), or the Chief if you’re fit and would like a bit of a challenge.

4) LEARN ABOUT WATER Why on earth am i writing about water? An excellent recent film “Flow: For the Love of Water” about water illustrates this resource’s incredible importance. For one second care to entertain the thought of considering how essential water is to our survival, health (as in, the lack of clean water leading to health and survival problems). Climate change is melting glaciers and snowpacks around the world meaning that rivers worldwide are or will be facing water shortages. In 1999, 26 percent of Canadian municipalities reported problems with water availability, including seemingly wet locals such as Vancouver and Victoria (Environment Canada 2001; Boyd 2003). To illustrate the importance of this issue a bit further: 440 of 669 major cities in China face moderate to severe water shortages, and data collected from NASA and the World Health Organization suggest that 4 billion people will face water shortages by 2050 (Lagod 2007).

5) FOCUS ON THE POSITIVE SIDE Learning more about the state of the world can be difficult at times, but one of the most important lessons I’ve learned about environmental issues is the absolute necessity to stay positive, and not let things get to you personally – I’ve just started a blog about this and highlighting the importance of something known as the Lotus Effect (the real definition). Using all the energy generated by anger of learning about humanity breaking environmental laws and transforming it into something positive – action on improving things or leading by example. And last, and most importantly, keeping a sense of humour about it all, and not taking things, and ourselves too seriously.

A great example would be a well-known (and very witty) standup comedian talking about energy and world politics in Robert Newman’s History of Oil (I love it). Another PERFECT example of this would be the words of wisdom by a writer on the Simpsons – Welcoming Homer, the Tree Hugger! I’d like to end on that note, if you don’t visit any other links, visit the last two – I’m particularly fond of always looking at the bright side of things. With Love, L.E.

Shame on you, Vancouver, and your wasteful ways!

Steve and Rodney put me on the vlogging train since I got my Flip camera, and I’ve been taking it pretty much everywhere I go. As I was walking back on Quebec St. from a lovely lunch with Tanya, I noticed that the tracks of the Street Car near Science World and the Main St./Science World Skytrain were littered (below is the video I uploaded on YouTube).

I am, as always, annoyed when anybody praises the great, clean, green ways of Vancouver and then I see things like these. I also get annoyed when people tell me “oh but climate change is such a big issue”. Hello? See below? People need to change their behavioral patterns in ALL aspects of environment protection, not only climate change, but also their wasteful patterns in regards to water consumption, energy consumption and trash generation! Grrr…

[EDITOR’S NOTE – My YouTube isn’t working well so you’ll have to wait until tomorrow to see the video. Ooops.]

Asking around questions

As you guys may notice, my body and brain are quickly deteriorating and therefore, my composure and the coherence of my posts is being greatly reduced. I want to thank all of my guest contributors, as their contributions helped me make this Blogathon much more interesting, and also, it was thanks to YOU guys that I could comment on other people’s blogs AND Twitter (I’m a hummingbird but my physical energy levels are incredibly low right now).

Karen Parker, Karen Hamilton (who is also Blogathoning), Isabella Mori (who is also Blogathoning), Al Pasternak, Gus Fosarolli and Nancy Zimmerman all have kindly offered to either drop by and help keep me awake or help me in other ways, like offering yummy healthy treats and caffeine, but I am stuck to my computer for a while because my laptop is having major, major issues. But I want to thank them all. I also want to thank everyone who has dropped a comment on my blog, and everyone who in one way or another has offered encouragement.

Anyway, since I do love engaging in interactive conversations, I am going to borrow a page from Tanya’s Mid-Week Socializing Game. If you need an explanation, here is one of her most recent posts. Let’s apply Tanya’s MWSG. So I’ll ask a question and the first person to respond, answers it and then poses a question in the same comment. And so on and so forth.

I’ll start – What are you MOST passionate about?

Restaurant review – The Wolf and Hound (Kitsilano)

I had the pleasure of going for dinner with my friend DA, who had just defended his PhD thesis, and his parents. We started with beer and dinner at The Wolf and Hound and continued with dessert at True Confections. I had been to the Wolf and Hound before, but definitely this was the best time I’ve ever had. The company was really what made it all worth it. The food was good, although not all that to write home for. Again, it was mostly my friend and his parents that made it all better.

The food is typical Irish pub fare. I ordered a burger with fries, and nothing really to write home about. I had had brunch here before, and wasn’t all that impressed either. However, one of the highlights of The Wolf and Hound is that you can listen to live Irish music with regularity, and the beer is good. I often come back with my friends, but only when I need to come to Kitsilano.

My favorite job – Guest post by Jeffery Simpson

This post was contributed by Jeffery Simpson, who is one of the top contributors (if not THE top contributor) to Vancouver MetBlogs. He was kind enough to volunteer to write one of these posts, and he’s a prolific writer. You can read more of his stuff by clicking on the links at the end of this post

“A man makes a picture
A moving picture
Through the light projected
He can see himself up close
A man captures colour
A man likes to stare
He turns his money into light to look for her”

– “Lemon”, U2

My favorite job has always been the Paramount Theatre in Kelowna. I had just gotten back from a disastrous four months spent as an exchange student in France and needed to find something that kept me from returning to the grill at McDonald’s. McDonald’s had been a job that I had never been good at, always a few beats too slow and always a little too mindful of the tragic accidents depicted in the safety videos. A Big Mac never seemed worth the chance of losing a limb.

I started really enjoying my job there once I became an usher/projectionist. I liked the moderate amount of authority that the role provided, and the responsibility of having to not destroy a film print worth a few thousand of dollars. After I got it down I loved threading up a projector, because it’s not often in life I’ve had the chance to learn how to do something that such a small percentage of other people know how to do. I was good at it, though I did once melt about six minutes of Babe 2, and eventually I was even splicing the films together.

Read the rest of this entry »

On the challenges of dating

Having been single for over four years now, it’s kind of interesting when people ask me if I am in a relationship, or whether I’m dating anyone. I have been in complicated relationships before (a term I commonly use for those is situationship — although I did not coin the term itself).

Recently, because of conversations with very close friends, I’ve started to reflect and think about the issue. Not in much depth, truth be told. But just began thinking about it again.

I haven’t paid much attention to dating as I’ve been lucky in that I get many of the perks and very few of the problems when I’m in a situationship.

Don’t get me wrong. I am a very loving guy, and for sure enjoy the idea of a life partner. There are complications to being in situationships too. But if I were to really buckle down and get serious with dating, there are still a few things that stand in the way, at least at the moment.

First, I need to find myself a job that will pay for the kind of lifestyle I want. Having a romance at this moment in my life is therefore pretty secondary. Second, I want to make sure to be in a relationship for the right reasons. I don’t want to be attached just because I am alone (and trust me on this one, I am NEVER alone — my weekend fills by Tuesday morning and if you are lucky, I’ll book you for next week). Third, I want to ensure that I am not chasing the perfect relationship. I am not perfect by any measure, nor do I want to be. I’m happy to grow with a partner as time goes by.

I’ve always been curious about what people think of the dating process, and particularly, of whether the fact that I’ve been out of practice for so long does make any difference to whether I will be able to find someone or not. Somebody told me that the only way that one can really develop the skills necessary to date is to engage in the process. I am someone who believes in learning by doing. That’s the reason why I took up modeling. That’s how I learned so many languages. I learned to be a bartender just because I thought I might need the skills sometime (I already have put them to good use, so …).

Therefore, my question is, should I just plunge in the dating pool just because I need the skill set?

Note – I’ve enabled comment moderation, so if you don’t see your comment posted, don’t take offense. I’m just a bit slow at the moment in getting through comments.

Transportation as a life – Guest post by Karen Quinn Fung

This post was contributed by Karen Quinn Fung, who blogs at Countably Infinite. Karen recently completed her Honors Thesis and is considered an expert in transportation. She single-handedly organized TransitCamp in Vancouver and was included in Raincity Studio’s 2008 Women in Tech to Watch. She also happens to be a friend of mine 🙂

Raul and I were talking today when I told him I couldn’t think of something to write about for his blogathon, and he called me an expert in transportation. I, of course, now feel obligated to repay his generous compliment…however, I will do this with a blog post about why I am not an expert in transportation – at least, not the way that most people think of experts, and not in the way that most people think of transportation. (Much of this post is indebted to a book by Fiona Rajé called Negotiating the Transport System. I am currently crafting a blog post for my site with more on this book.)

When people think of transportation, they think of traffic engineers, people designing lane markings and curbs, thinking about where to put stop signs, bike lanes and pedestrian crossings, the headways (i.e. amount of time between buses) on bus routes and the logistics of a complicated transit system like the SkyTrain. Alternately, they may think of transportation planners, who study the number of people going where at what times of day, weighing land use with development goals, who make forecasts in the future about what people will be doing 30 years from now to get around.

In almost all of the above activities, I am, at best, a casual observer. My degree was in Communication, so I am ill-suited to comment on urban growth or community development. Instead, I am much more interested in the intricacies of how the act of getting around shapes what you can do, who you are, and who you can be; and, conversely, how not being able to get you are also keeps you from certain things. And finally, what people or organizations can do quickly and cheaply to overcome those obstacles and do what they want to, in the absence of solutions that might take a long time to implement. Funny enough, a lot of those tools tend to involve providing information to people – hence my hanging-on with the web and mobile communities in Vancouver.

Along this vein, one of the neatest concepts I’ve learned about recently is that of the “forced car.” It is exactly what it sounds like, and everyone knows what it is: it is when public transport is so lacking that people on low incomes have to put their money towards owning and running a car, which diverts valuable resources away from other parts of their lives. I have a friend living this very reality in Winnipeg. Yet as a society, do we collectively – through our representative in municipal or regional governments – take responsibility for precipitating these situations through the design of our cities? It’s hard to take responsibility for something that’s not directly someone’s fault, yet all too often it seems that the forethought that would enable these situations to be avoided is bypassed completely.

I’m certainly not the only one thinking about this sort of thing in Vancouver, either – the Vancouver Public Space Network is doing some great work, and Toronto’s Spacing Magazine is very prolific in bringing these issues to a human and emotional scale. If we think of cities as living, breathing organisms, then our transportation system is like our circulatory system, moving things around to where they are needed. That experience of moving around, perhaps not for the majority but for no small minority of people, is traumatic, wrought with difficulty and frustration, leading to (again with a loosely-defined academic term) social exclusion, that prevents them from taking full advantage of their potential or living their dreams. It’s this human element that I work towards…and I’m feeling
up to the challenge! 🙂

Now, does anyone know a Master’s Program where I can study this *and* hang out with bloggers and web geeks? 🙂

The blogroll issue

Hat tip to one of my regular readers, Luc, who reminded me a few weeks ago of why i keep a blogroll. Long story made short, I keep a blogroll mostly because I like to showcase the fine blogs that i don’t link to all the time, but that I DO read all the time. I recognize that my blogroll is going to explode because I read A LOT of blogs, but now that I have an RSS reader very well configured, I really don’t worry that much about having a really long blogroll.

Rebecca had an excellent post up on the value of blogrolls, and I think that she makes a really good point as to why we should have it. It’s kind of impossible to know which blogrolls you are not on. I have noticed I am NOT in the blogroll of some local Vancouver bloggers, and while it doesn’t really bother me all that much, it does bother me when I drive traffic to their site – because I think that reciprocity is key. Have you looked at Derek K. Miller‘s blogroll? At Rebecca Bollwitt‘s? At Tanya Davis‘? At Jonathon Narvey‘s? They’re MASSIVE! These are very fine local bloggers and they link to A LOT OF PEOPLE.

Every so often I think that I should take some of the non-linking local bloggers off my blogroll (e.g. when the blogger in question gets traffic off of my site but I don’t get the same back – remember, I have photographic memory and I retain A LOT of stuff). So far, I have done it only with a couple of them, and I recognize that this may be seen as a petty issue. Since I don’t want to initiate that kind of argument, but also given that it’s my blog, and my blogroll, I think I am very much entitled to do with it whatever I want 🙂 The same applies to theirs. I just find that the more link love you give, the better. But then again, there are many views on the issue. I am just providing one.

The blogstar effect

I started blogging as a collateral result of my brother’s interest in writing and my friendship with LM. Since I was away from Canada for two years, their blogs kept me up-to-date on what they were doing. The funny thing is that, since I was not in the tech/social media industry I totally missed the boat and therefore, was rarely affected by what I call “the blogstar effect”.

What is the ‘blogstar effect’. Basically, it’s that kind of awe you get from knowing someone who is popular and famous online. I started reading Tanya‘s, Rebecca‘s, Duane’s, John‘s and Derek‘s blogs (just to give a few examples of local blogstars) long ago, but they always seemed very down-to-earth to me, so I never got that kind of “awe”.

I then started hanging out with them and with other local blogging stars (including the lovely Monica Hamburg, Jonathon Narvey, Corinna and Adam Carlson, and still, the whole image of the blogstars never really came to me – these are friends of mine who happen to blog, and who happen to be in social media. But they are also good friends of mine and very down-to-earth people.

However, I giggle quite often when I think of other bloggers in the social media scene and I realize that yes, sometimes I still did get the “blogstar” effect. While with some the blogstar effect never came to exist, with others, I was just like I had met Brad Pitt or Jessica Alba (or Michael Weatherly for that matter, whom I met recently in Yaletown). Examples? I loved Maktaaq‘s blog for a long time, and when I met her, Matt, Ryan and TLO, I was giggling like a high school kid “OMG I can’t believe I’m finally meeting you!“.

I think I get the blogstar effect on a very random basis. But then, when the blogstars and I become friends, I realize that they are just human beings like me with blogging super powers. So, we become part of a siblinghood. I am proud of my blogger friends, and I am honored to be in their company in this Blogathon 2008.

The offline life of an online geek

These past weeks I have had a chance to meld both my online and offline social worlds, in various ways. I brought LMB over to Tanya‘s for Rock Band, and more recently, my very good friend HZ (who is pretty much like my brother) joined me for drinks with Duane, Ianiv, Arieanna, Rebecca and Trevor at Smiley O’Neils and then we headed to the BBQ that Jenn, Dario and Nadia and the crew at Invoke put together.

What I found really nice is that all my friends seem to be able to get along with each other, no matter how I met them. For example, HZ told me that he had had a really good time with all my blogger friends. However, other times I just simply spend time with different groups of people. In the future, I think I’ll have to be very careful with how many activities I schedule, because I tend to overbook myself!

Thanks are due to my friends, all of them, because they realize my time limitations and my physical limitations. I am now working really hard at learning how to ask for help when I need it, as I am usually the one who provides help, not the one who depends on others! And I get to enjoy more of my offline life, because both my online and offline friends understand me well.

The objective academic activist? – Guest post by Dr. Hisham Zerriffi

This post was contributed by Dr. Hisham Zerriffi, Assistant Professor with the Liu Institute for Global Issues at The University of British Columbia.

The Objective Activist Academic?

Note: While this post is about academics and specifically some issues that we have, I think it is relevant to a more general audience. Next time you see an academic advocating a certain position, you might want to keep this post in mind in order to figure out how to evaluate what they are saying.

As an academic I work on subjects that I also care quite deeply and passionately about, as do my students. I teach in an environmental sustainability program and everyone involved from faculty to students is there because they are concerned about the state of the world and want to create some positive change. I actually came from the NGO world before moving into academia. One of the things I have struggled with and which many of the students in the program struggle with is how to engage in the issues you care passionately about when you are supposed to be this objective academic observer. That’s what this post is about. First of all, I should say that not all of my colleagues face this problem. Some of them disengage from the whole issue of advocacy, public education or policy advice. They do their work and if someone else picks it up and runs with it, great. Others, however, see the need to try to be more proactive in creating change. The students often face this dilemma when thinking about signing on to a petition (e.g. save X rainforest) or writing an op-ed or engaging in any other type of activity that could be seen as advocacy. Second, I should also note that these are my views. My colleagues may very well disagree with me.

So, what is my approach to this problem? It is to keep the following in mind:

1) When I became a scientist and then an academic, I did not give up my rights as a citizen. I have every right to engage in public debate on issues I care about, just like everyone else.

2) Recognize that there is no such thing as total objectivity. There is good research and bad research. But even the decision on what to research is not an objective one. I do the work I do because I see problems in the world that need solutions. Within that, I try to do the best research I can, but I’ve already made a judgment that this topic is an important one. You also have to recognize that the question you ask will affect how you view the data. Asking the question a different way may make you parse the data one way versus another and come up with different conclusions. Here’s an example. Back in my NGO days, I got data from a government program regarding the safety and reliability of a particular technology. The government’s analysis of the data lumped both safety and reliability together and came up with a set of conclusions. I thought that it was better to separate them and when I analyzed the disaggregated data, the picture was quite different. Both analysis were “correct” based on the question asked, but the conclusions were different.

3) Don’t let yourself be labeled or put in a box. This can be a tough one to fight, but it is necessary. I used to work on nuclear issues at my NGO. We used our analytical skills to try to reduce the risks from nuclear weapons production and to argue for a move away from nuclear weapons. Our money often came from foundations. Of course, those in the industry tried to dismiss some of our work on the basis that it was biased because it was funded by foundations that had clear objectives in this regard. Interestingly, they never questioned their research skills because they were funded by the nuclear industry or by the federal government to work on nuclear weapons. You have to try to puncture this illusion that one side of an issue is “objective” while the other is not.

4) Distinguish values from facts (my thanks to a colleague at the university for emphasizing this in recent discussions). As an academic, I am also allowed to have values and make moral judgments. If I am going to support some cause based on my moral values rather than some piece of research or evidence, that is fine. However, I have to be clear about that. You can’t make people think that Dr. So-and-So thinks this is good so therefore there must be evidence to back it up when you are basing your decision on your values. This, however, is a tricky one. People may have a problem with this, either still thinking you are basing this on your expertise or now being dismissive of you because you have lost your “objectivity.” Don’t forget, in some cases you don’t have to sign on to something as an academic. You are a person outside your academic life (though I know it can be hard to believe that sometimes, especially when in the final leg of your Ph.D.). (also see point 1).

5) Get your facts right and communicate them well. This is critically important if you want to maintain credibility. The challenge is that sometimes what you are writing has to be a brief overview of the facts without all the nuance and caveats. That’s okay as long as you don’t twist the facts or be selective about the facts in a way that skews the overall picture. You also shouldn’t ignore inconvenient facts if they are *critical* to the problem. This doesn’t mean you have to take into account every piece of evidence, no matter how minor, when writing a short piece for the public. What is important is the balance of evidence.

6) Do good research. Be careful in your work, examine alternative hypotheses, ask the questions that need to be asked and then back it up with solid analysis. If you come under attack for your views and your research is strong, you will be in a much better place to defend yourself and explain why your position is valid.

7) Do good research. See above.

7) Don’t forget to do good research. Sorry, I know it’s a tired and cliched writing device to repeat yourself in a list, but seriously, I can’t emphasize this enough. And if you are outside the research community but really interested in a topic, do your research. Both on the topic and on the researchers.

So, when you see that scientist talking about climate change or that political scientist talking about the middle east, try to bear some of this in mind. Are they making an argument based on facts or values? Are they presenting the facts truthfully and honestly? Perhaps just as importantly, bear this in mind when you see pundits and commentators discussing the research of others. Climate change “skeptics” get a lot of press despite the overwhelming evidence and number of scientists that form the consensus on this issue.

The business case for good blogger relations with high-traffic bloggers

This is perhaps one of the posts I’ve been wanting to write for THE longest time, particularly in recent months. It’s definitely not a self-congratulatory post at all, though it does reflect the shifting patterns of blogger-industry relations and my gradual involvement in it.

A few months back, I commented that of course I would be very happy if I had the kind of traffic that Rebecca Bollwitt, Stephen Rees or Darren Barefoot command. I consider all three of them, friends of mine to varying extents (obviously I consider Rebecca a very close friend) and therefore, I have not the slightest amount of envy for their stats.

Through my restaurant reviews on UrbanSpoon, my own traffic is quite good when it comes to restaurant reviews. I figure that if I didn’t write about anything else other than restaurant reviews, I’d probably have really high number of unique views.

Currently, my stats (while I think they’re ok) are nowhere in the vicinity of what the mommy blogger Dooce (whom I have never read in my life, by the way) commands. Colleen wrote a really interesting post on the Return on Investment (ROI) for Nintendo Wii’s campaign with Dooce. (SIDE NOTE – Frankly, I don’t feel bad at all for not reading Dooce – I didn’t even understand why so many people made a big fuss that she came to talk at VIDFEST 2008- but I’d definitely love to have the kind of traffic she commands).

However, I always wondered whose blogger’s traffic would I prefer. For example, danah boyd (who is nearing the completion of her PhD at Berkeley) is someone who got a hell of a lot of traffic for a post she wrote on class division and the Facebook/MySpace divide. Would I prefer to have Dooce’s traffic or danah’s? I’m going to go with probably danah’s, simply because I am an academic and I kind of have that lens to the world. HOWEVER, is my readership the kind of readership danah has, or the readership that Dooce has? Who are my readers, anyway?

I have to admit that I have never bothered to categorize my readers, and I don’t want to cajole them in neat little boxes with labels. But this is an interesting question to me, because I think that if I were to really get something out of my blog, I would need to really understand very well my readership and do a much more thorough analysis of my traffic (Rebecca has a really neat post about this on her blog).

But along the line of higher stats, and given my current (and potentially soon-to-cease-to-exist) status as the top-ranked UrbanSpoon restaurant review blogger, I would figure that more and more restaurants would be coming down and knocking on my doors to get me to review their restaurants. It has happened already with a few, which I am grateful for (particularly because those are really good restaurants!) and I’ve already gotten some nice swag.

But since my blog is so personal, I guess I could not blame any businesses for not choosing to send me stuff. I’m not an iPhone expert (as John Biehler is), nor do I write specific, detailed, restaurant reviews (as Karen Hamilton does – though she also has a personal site), nor am I a really geeky blogger. Nevertheless, I’m happy with what many people have told me about my blog – that they like reading it because it has one theme = Raul (that is, ME).

But back to the blogger relations issue. In the past few months, I’ve been pitched to write about several campaigns, and I am not sure (and would shudder to think) that part of the reason why I am being pitched may be the higher traffic I have now (and let’s face it, I only switched to WordPress in March 2008 so I have NO reason to complain, my stats have skyrocketed).

So, really – I am just saying – if you’re going to talk to bloggers with high traffic, you should keep good relations – whatever the definition of “high” or “good” traffic is. I am really not concerned about my stats, but if you are a business looking to pitch me on the basis of my stats, you better know that my readership is nowhere near the realm of other local blogging powerhouses! 😉

And yeah I recognize that by being honest I might be closing some doors down, but I prefer honesty over fakeness. I am not fake nor will I ever be. I am me and this is my story.

[EDITORS NOTE – Darren, Rebecca and others have written about bloggers relations, it was the topic of a Third Tuesday, but I’m exhausted and my brain isn’t working properly so I’ll update this post when Blogathon is over to reflect all these discussions – and maybe this post isn’t all that well thought out!]

Sharing a personal story – Guest post by Cecily Walker

This post was contributed by Cecily Walker, who is a librarian and knowledge translator and who blogs at Cecily.info

The easiest way to crank out this blogathon post is to tell a story about oneself, especially as a point of introduction to a new audience or passage into a new community. I’ve lived in Vancouver for seven and a half years, and although I’ve been a Canadian citizen for two of those years, but despite that I still feel very much like an outsider. I’ve started and restarted this post several times in an attempt to keep it as light as possible, but as a person who is on a personal journey toward the real, I think it’s best if I’m as honest as I can be, even at the risk of alienating people.

This rather long winded introduction is my way of dancing around an issue that I don’t often like to bring up in public. You see, I’m one of those rare people who really doesn’t like living in Vancouver. Oh, let me not sugar coat it — I hate living here. There, I’ve said it. This Paradise on the Pacific Rim leaves me cold,and it has little to do with the dreary chill that descends nine months of the year. Although I’ve lived here long enough to develop enough of a relationship with the city that I can (begrudgingly) call it home, my homelife, so to speak, is deeply unsatisfying.

When I arrived here in 2001, newly married and filled with expectation and promise, I imagined Vancouver as a place where I could be free to reinvent myself. I was free to jettison all the psychic baggage that I managed to accumulate in 32 years of living in Atlanta, GA (where I was born and raised).

Two weeks after I moved to Vancouver, I experienced my first earthquake. Looking back, I should’ve taken that for the omen it was. The earth was trying to tell me that my relationship with this place
was on shaky ground, but I was too dense (and too scared) to pay attention.

As an immigrant, I wasn’t able to work when I first moved here. That meant I had ample time to explore the city and to develop a feel for its physical and emotional geography. People often comment on Vancouver’s mountains that tumble gently toward the ocean, but I look at that landscape and I feel hemmed in on all sides. I don’t climb mountains or ski, and I can’t swim, so I feel stifled by the landscape. Then the bus strike of 2001 started just as I was feeling brave enough to venture forth, and my view of Vancouver was whittled down even further.

Back then, I wrote an open letter to Vancouver (which appeared on the now-defunct Vancouver Stories website). In the letter I told Vancouver that I felt she brought me here under false pretenses, that her gentle whispers of openness, acceptance, and opportunity were far beyond my reach, and that I was feeling betrayed by her. Almost eight years later, I feel like a woman trapped in a loveless marriage with no prospects, but with no other option to stay in a relationship that soured long ago.

Now, I have had experiences since moving here that I probably wouldn’t have had if I’d stayed back in Atlanta. If I’d stayed in Atlanta, I’d have never become a librarian. If I hadn’t moved here, I wouldn’t have been able to adopt certain lifestyle changes that made it possible for me to lose a drastic amount of weight in a relatively short period of time. Vancouver’s a hard city to be a fat girl in, but one only need look around to see evidence of that.

Vancouver is also a hard city to be a black woman in. I wear my hair in dreadlocks not as some political or spiritual statement, but because when I first moved here, there was only one hairdresser who had experience with the arduous task of chemically straightening a black person’s hair, and the salon was a-l-l the way up Kingsway at Rupert. I live in Fairview. There was a bus strike, and at the time, my husband and I didn’t own a car. Growing dreads was an act of pure survival.

It’s not only the hair that’s an issue. The only cosmetics line that carries shades that are dark enough – and properly tinted for darker skins – is M.A.C., so needless to say my bathroom looks like a satellite M.A.C. location. I once had a clerk at Shoppers Drug Mart tell me that because there weren’t too many of “you people” here that they just didn’t make the shades available in Canada. I later found out that was a lie on my first trip to Toronto.

I could go on and on about how I feel invisible because I’m ethnic but not Asian or South Asian, or because I’m Black but not Jamaican or African. I could talk about how I was frequently maligned when people ranted non-stop about Americans, and how few people wanted to make a distinction between American individuals and the Bush Administration. I could talk about how I came to hate Rick Mercer with a passion, because I got asked so many times if I’d seen his “Talking to Americans” special, and how Canadians expected me to stand in and defend an entire nation of people — or even the small cross-section that Mercer mocked on the show.

I could talk about all of those things — and I have, quite extensively on my own blog — but this piece is long enough already.

So you might ask what’s keeping me here? My husband’s desire to be close to his elderly mother is a factor, but the real reason is I’m a native Southerner, and despite the extra padding and insulation I’m carrying around, I’m just not built for Canadian winters.

So here I am, disgruntled, disillusioned, and dispirited. I’d just about given up on Vancouver and making any inroads into a community here at all, but then Raul popped up on my radar. Even though we’ve never met, Raul has extended his hand in friendship quicker and more freely than anyone else I’ve ever met in this town, and not that it’s fair to hinge my opinion of an entire city on one person, he’s given me faith that maybe my opinion of Vancouver need not be as bleak as it is.

EDITOR’S NOTE – I found Cecily’s writing compelling but even more so, her photography is extraordinary. And I can totally relate to how cold Vancouver can be. I am very honored that Cecily thinks I’m friendly because that’s exactly who I am. As I mentioned in a recent post, this blog is my story and I am proud of it. And I am proud of being able to bring people who have a lot to give, like Cecily, into my own life. Thanks for the contribution, Cecily!

Restaurant review – Kirin Sushi (New Westminster)

I rarely venture as far east as Burnaby simply because I don’t have a car, and when I do go that far, it’s usually in the North Shore (Deep Cove). So this weekend I just wanted to get away from the bustling energy and atmosphere from the downtown core. I had already been to the Greek Festival in Kitsilano, and then watched “Get Smart” at Silvercity Metropolis (in Burnaby).

Without even giving it a second thought, after the movie, I decided to get as far away from Vancouver as I possibly could so JT and I went to New Westminster to walk along the pier of Westminster Quay. I rarely go in this direction as my life is somewhat Downtown-Vancouver-East-Vancouver-centric. But since I was already closer to New West than I was to DT… anyway, we ended visiting three municipalities of Metro Vancouver within the same day.

Kirin Sushi must be a rather popular sushi joint for the New West crowd. Located pretty much at the foot of New Westminster Skytrain station, this place is really good for really inexpensive sushi. We didn’t even spend like $30 and we had dinner for two and we couldn’t finish it. I would come back for sushi if I went that way.

Having friends is what makes me rich

I am not rich by any measure in financial terms, I have a crushing debt, and I live in a small basement apartment. But you know what? I am a very happy man, and I am grateful because I have the friends I have. My online friends who have enhanced my life and my offline friends for helping me keep grounded and make me realize that while my blog may be somewhat popular-ish, I am still the same Raul who can commit mistakes, the same Raul who has flaws, can be a bit self-absorbed, but they love me still nonetheless.

I just went for brunch with C, B, L and J, and luckily I had a chance to write this draft post while we were having academic discussions, and last night I spent a few hours with HZ, BS, CS, ML, JH and EB. The Backstage Lounge is not anymore my favorite haunt but the company couldn’t be any better. And having a chance to hang out with John and Duane (they helped a lot last night when we were launching Blogathon).

I have great friends, and that’s what makes me rich. All the time!

And… we are still going strong with Blogathon! This post is a little early as I am not sure whether if I time stamp it it will go live at the right time. Go, Blogathoners, Go!

Overheard in Vancouver on the 3 Main bus

This REALLY happened to me. I would have Twittered it but I wasn’t really in the mood.

Driver – “My bus needs to be repaired. I am only going as far as 16th Avenue”
Clueless Girl – “Can you please let me know when you reach 49th Avenue” (keeps talking on her cell phone).

[…] We reach 16th Avenue

Driver – “This is my LAST stop. Everyone please exit now”.
Clueless Girl – “Is this 49th?”
Driver (visibly disgusted) – “No, it’s not. I said that 16th Avenue was my last stop”
Clueless Girl – “Oh, ok… can you let me know when you re-start your bus and go to 49th”
[…]

I shudder to think what the poor driver was thinking about this girl. I would have been annoyed as hell. Heck, I was annoyed just listening to her asking such dumb questions!

How to record and edit a podcast on a Windows PC, cheap – Guest post by Derek K. Miller

This guest post comes from Derek K. Miller of penmachine.com.

Podcasting and cancer go together for me. I wish they didn’t, but it’s been a year and half since my tumours first prevented me from working at my day job—and podcasting is something I’ve been able to keep doing.

After getting the news that I had stage 4 metastatic colorectal cancer in January 2007, it’s been a rollercoaster of chemotherapy, radiation, multiple surgeries, more chemotherapy, CT scans left and right, innumerable blood tests, still more chemotherapy, and side effects ranging from nausea and hair loss to a new, really nasty acne-like rash. It’s been most unpleasant, but I’m still alive.

You might expect me to podcast about having cancer, and I have done a
little of that, but the shows I work on most have nothing to do with it: I engineer my wife’s podcast Lip Gloss and Laptops, and co-host and run the website for Inside Home Recording. So, over the past two or three years, I’ve gained some expertise in this audio realm (as well as some video too). Which is why Raul asked me to blog some advice about recording a basic podcast on a Windows PC.

Now, for Mac users like me, GarageBand is almost an all-in-one toolkit for putting together a podcast. It’s not perfect (nor is any software), and it makes many Apple-centric assumptions about how a podcast should work, but it will certainly do the job.

However, there’s no simple and inexpensive GarageBand equivalent for PC users like Raul. There are a few programs that do similar things, like Sony’s
ACID and M-Audio’s Session, and there are certainly higher-end options like Adobe Audition, Cubase, Pro Tools, and so on. Some do too little, some too much, and the higher-end programs cost hundreds of dollars.

But if you’re getting started with audio podcasting on a PC (or if you use Linux, for that matter), a solid software option is the free, open source audio recording and editing program Audacity. Simply combine it with a decent microphone (whether a basic tabletop dynamic mic, a USB headset, or a tieclip lavalier), and with some way to get the signal into your computer (via an adapter cable, audio interface, or mixer), then you’re ready to go.

Audacity isn’t dead simple, but once you get the essential metaphor of how it’s put together—that is, multiple audio tracks, stacked vertically on top of one another, each of which displays the waveform of the sounds it contains, with time moving from left to right—you can record, edit, mix, and export a complete podcast that sounds pretty decent.

Some tips: Work with your Windows audio control panel, any drivers or settings for your sound card, and Audacity’s preferences to make sure you can get quality sound into the software from your microphone. Unless you need stereo sound for music or other reasons, work in mono as much as possible, since it’s less complicated, and you can also create final podcast files that are only half the size of identical stereo versions. And make sure to download the free LAME encoder to enable Audacity to export MP3 files directly.

Oh, and there’s no harm in downloading Apple’s free iTunes for applying a final polish to your podcast files. You can use it to add extra information (copyright, artwork, etc.): just drag your MP3 file onto iTunes, then choose File > Get Info and make your edits. Using the Preferences > Advanced > Importing options, you can also use iTunes to convert your audio into other formats.

Finally, you’ll need somewhere online to store and link up your files using blogging software that makes it possible for people to subscribe to your show. I’m sure Raul would recommend WordPress.com, and I wouldn’t disagree. But that would also be another blog post.

EDITOR’S NOTE – Derek is also the co-host of Inside Home Recording, and a musician. IHR offers many suggestions of pod-safe music (e.g. music you can actually use without worrying about copyright infringement. You can check both his personal blog and IHR for suggestions on podsafe music.

Fresh Start Recycling and Disposal Ltd.

A few weeks back, Rebecca directed Kara Alcorn (Customer Relations, Fresh Start Recycling and Disposal Ltd.) towards my site and suggested that I talk to her. I have to say that I am very positively impressed with Fresh Start (as we bloggers have begun to call this young company).

Obviously, you’re going to ask me – so what IS Fresh Start?While I am sure you’ll check their site, basically let me tell you that Fresh Start takes the business of recycling one step further, and brings the recycled stuff to charities. Moreover, one element that really impressed me was that they look for local charities within the communities where their clients are located.

Founded in 2004 by Vancouver native Thomas Goodall, Fresh Start Recycling & Disposal Ltd. is committed to reducing clutter in your life while minimizing our impact on the environment by reducing the amount of material that goes straight to the landfill.[Fresh Start Recycling website]

Let me give you an example. Currently, my friends Ianiv and Arieanna Schweber are in the North Shore area, and are currently renovating their house. Their floor has to be fully torn apart and they need to install new flooring. They’ll probably also need to remove and recycle stuff. The obvious choice of company to do this? Fresh Start, of course!

By demonstrating that recycling can be still a successful business model AND that you can incorporate elements of corporate social responsibility (CSR), therefore enhancing how and where the product is delivered and the ethical/social aspects of recycling within local communities, I think Fresh Start is indeed off to a very fresh start, and a successful one!

Even smarter, Fresh Start maintains a relationship with customers, vendors, potential clients. How? By using one of the most innovative forms of communication – Web 2.0! Yes, sir! Fresh Start has a BLOG. I can’t help but feel really excited about this, because I am always a firm believer that you can meld social media with sustainability, and as you can see, Fresh Start is doing it!

In addition, of course, I should highlight the fact that their office is in Mount Pleasant, very close to my house, as a matter of fact!

Kudos to Fresh Start as well, because they were the first corporate sponsors of my Blogathon 2008. While I am raving about them in this post (and very legitimately, as I do believe in their positive intentions), they did NOT sponsor this post, so this is in NO way paid advertisement. They DID, however, sponsor a forthcoming post that will describe in more detail the whole concept of Recycle, Reuse, Reduce (3Rs), and for their contribution to the BC Cancer Agency and my Blogathon, I am very, very grateful!

The price of friendship – Guest post by Nancy Zimmerman

This post was contributed by Nancy Zimmerman, who blogs at Nancy Zimmerman: A Money Coach

I’m a money coach, and obviously have had hundreds of conversations about how people handle their money. We talk about values and about how their spending aligns – or doesn’t – with their values.
We talk about objectives, and whether their spending habits will support – or not – those objectives.

In short, we work together to increase the client’s ability to be strategic and intentional with money.

I had a thought the other day. In our culture, we don’t often do the same for friendship. A lot of the time, we are friends in a happy, but haphazard, way. If the relationship is pleasurable (things in common, personality mix works) and convenient (geography and time works) the odds of the friendship sustaining over time are reasonably good.

In short, if things fall in place naturally and easily, we have friends.

But what about if there is a price to be paid, for the friendship?

What if the person has an aspect of their personality that deeply bothers us, or even hurts us?
What if the person’s schedule or geography makes it difficult to connect, in our own busy lives?

Our response is often to pull away from the friendship.

I wonder what the opportunity/cost is here, to use economic terms again.

Much has been written about commitment and romance, but we don’t here a lot about commitment and friendship. I wonder: if we got better at the latter as a culture, we we get better at the former?

What about our friendships? If another person has opened him or herself to me or you – by sharing their personhood, by letting us “in” on areas of their life, by connecting to us in some way: what price are we willing to pay? What value do we place on the friendship?

Often, a price we need to pay is forgiveness. As the intimacy increases with a friend, so does the likelihood that something will not work: That some aspects of us will not respond well to an aspect of the other.

In my own life, one of my most valued friends has an issue with lateness. Time and again, I am left stranded – and livid – waiting an hour or longer past the agreed time. I feel insulted and furious. Yet this friend is loyal, would come to the hospital at 3am if needed, and time and time again offers her wise insights after listening to me go on (and on) about something I am grappling with. The late issue very nearly cost us our friendship. It’s still an ongoing frustration.
And yet, this friend is worthy of my love and ongoing offer of friendship (and really, which human life isn’t?) despite this one crazy-making aspect.

As in romantic relationships, the only solution is the price of forgiveness. And not just once, but every.single.time it happens. Christ was once approached by one of his apostles, who was thoroughly pissed off by his brother. “How often,” the offended brother asked, “must I forgive that dude? Seven times?” (note, he was clearly keeping track!) Christ’s answer: 70 times 7. In other words, as often as it takes to keep the relationship going.

A very high standard, indeed. Would we pay that price?

Another price we often need to pay is inconvenience. I’m not sure where the balance is between setting our own boundaries, and self-care v. inconveniencing our life to sustain a friendship, but I suspect we frequently opt out of acts of friendship that are inconvenient. I know I do. My life is full, I have responsibilities, and gave away my car a few years ago. So for example, if the friend moves out of Vancouver proper, odds are not strong that I will continue to invest in the relationship. And yet, again, this human is priceless. Why then, will I not pay the price of an extra hour of commute time, as required to sustain the friendship? Or what if the best times to connect by phone require me to get up earlier or stay of later?

I don’t have answers for this. But I wonder what the effect would be both on individual character growth and the way in which we experience life, if we adopted a much deeper sense of intention and commitment with our friendships?

And resolved to pay a higher price than easy & convenient for all of our friendships? And I wonder what the effect would be on our culture as a whole?

Some thoughts at 4:33 am from a money coach 🙂

Nancy happens also to be a good friend of mine who lives in the Strathcona area, and therefore, is very passionate about issues related to homelessness and the Downtown East Side. Kudos to her!

A citizen of the world, thank you very much!

In the past few months, I have to confess that I have been really upset when people refer to visiting a certain foreign country as “I visited YOUR country, I saw YOUR president” or “are you going home for the summer?“. THIS is my home now, thank you very much. I’ve lived here for over a decade!

Some people could even mistake this for being xenophobic against my own heritage. Nothing further from the truth. However, I did not elect the president who is ruling that country right now. I refuse to be told that X or Y are “my President”. Heck, not even Stephen Harper is my Prime Minister! I am a citizen of the world, I have lived in North America, in Europe, and I can settle wherever the heck I want because I speak enough languages to move anywhere and function.

Not sure why this irritates me so much, but it does. It seriously does. I mean, if I wanted to, I could pass for whatever race/ethnicity I wanted to (I speak enough languages with varying degrees of fluency – I am sure I can fake it to be French, or even Japanese!). Anyways… just blowing off some steam… Don’t pay too much attention to this!