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My brother, the de-dramatizer :)

Raul — Sun, 08 Feb 2009 19:11:30 +0000

You guys might have read a while ago about my very dearest friend, whom I see as a brother. He lives right here in Vancouver, and we have a very, very close friendship, like a brotherhood. He and I share a lot of things in common. We like a lot of the same music. We both speak at least three languages (and three of these are shared – English, French and Spanish), we both have PhDs and we even did our PhD under the same supervisor. We share the same love for family and friends and a great appreciation for good food, travelling and a balanced life in general.

My brother (I call him my brother in soul, because he is not my brother by blood but he might as well be) is an amazing guy. We have been there for each other and I am really happy that his girlfriend is now also one of my close friends – she DOES understand our very close friendship). My blood brothers (the four of them) love my brother in soul to bits too (two of them have met him in person and really, really like him). And my Mom, needless to say, adores him. I have to say that his parents and brother also love ME to death, so it all works out really nicely. AND both his parents and mine live in Mexico, so that’s yet another shared element to our lives.

We hadn’t had a chance to hang out in a while (our group of friends) and we decided on brunch at Enigma as it was the most convenient location. HZ and I were having this playful disagreement (we *love* to disagree and poke holes on each other’s arguments, because we are both really bright and we like to challenge each other’s assumptions and rationalizations) and when asked what we were talking about, he said “hey, that’s just between my brother and I”, which was very nice to hear. It’s true. There are things that we share just amongst ourselves and the fact that his girlfriend respects that is one of the great things that I love about her.

So, as we were having breakfast, someone made the comment about someone else being a “de-dramatizer”, and I agreed with CS that yeah, that sounds about right in regards to my brother (her partner). My brother HZ has the amazing ability to calm people down and help them analyze issues through a variety of lenses, and that helps people understand the issues at hand more clearly. I have to say that I’ve called upon his de-dramatizing skills more than once, and I am very grateful that he lives here in Vancouver, because he (along with all my other friends) helps me stay sane. Furthermore, the fact that we are both academics allows us to share a deeper understanding of the issues when we deal with both of our professional lives. I do hope that I have been been a de-dramatizer for him as much as he has been for me.

For all of what you’ve done for me, thank you brother.

Do you follow routines?

Raul — Sun, 01 Feb 2009 00:03:01 +0000

As I am making my bed (on a Saturday afternoon at 4:00pm and already knowing that I’m late for LameCamp) I got to thinking – why am I making my bed and washing dishes/floors/bathrooms so late? Why am I not following my usual routines of -waking up – having breakfast – doing dishes so as to avoid any clutter?

Do you procrastinate with chores such as cleaning up and/or laundry/shopping? How do you deal with stuff that you know you HAVE to do but you HATE to do (such as washing bathroom floors)?

And now for something somewhat unrelated…

Raul — Sun, 25 Jan 2009 18:02:22 +0000

As we were making our way through downtown Vancouver (thanks again Jeremy for taking Karen and myself up to Whistler for WordCamp!) I was having a wonderful conversation about the nature of blogs. A few months ago, while I was visiting my family in Mexico, some of my civilian friends noted that my blog had become somewhat more corporate/tech. I was somewhat taken aback. For all the writing I do about tech stuff, some of my research in the environmental field, movie reviews, etc. I always have thought of my blog as a personal blog.

My blog is personal. I write about me, unashamedly and unabashedly. I don’t like labels nor categorizations, I think we all are unique and I for one know that I am very unique in my own way. Sure, I liveblog the hell out of events. Sure, I review movies, products, and more than anything, restaurants hehe. But this is my personal blog, and I refuse to give that up. Precisely for that very reason, I have decided to separate my professional life from my personal life and create a website just for my research (which should go live VERY VERY SOON)

As I have told just about everyone whom I’ve met recently and who asks about my blogging – I blog about myself and not ashamed to admit it. This blog is about my life in Vancouver, and I’m very grateful that people find it entertaining. But more than anything, I write for myself. Admittedly, I also write for my friends, family and the world when I write about other stuff, like restaurants, etc.

That’s also why I told Lorelle about writing good content as my key, first and foremost advice. I do recommend WordPress because it is an easy platform with great flexibility, but I do try to write good content. And it seems some people like it. Frankly, I do. I like my writing. This may sound totally conceited to some, but it’s true. I think I’m good at telling my stories.

And this was just part of my story. I’m heading out to meet with two of my closest civilian friends, have to finish cleaning up the apartment I was house-sitting and finish talking to my Mom on GTalk – so, hoping you’re having a wonderful Sunday, I’ll bid you adieu!

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Overcoming fear and stigma: Airdrie’s series on mental health and surviving depression

Raul — Tue, 16 Sep 2008 20:07:41 +0000

I was planning to do a round-up, link-love post, but decided against it because this is too important to be overshadowed. Airdrie, whom I am honored to call a friend, is writing a series (read part 1 and part 2) on her experience as a depression-afflicted individual. Airdrie contributed a really amazing post to my Blogathon writing about her experience as the wife of a cancer patient, and in this series, she reveals some of her struggles with depression.

Beth also linked to her post and agreed with Airdrie that Student Health Services often provide counseling services, and anyone who needs help should definitely look into that. I wish I had received the help from Counselling Services much faster when I broke up with my ex and was really down, but at the end of the day, I was ok. If you, dear reader, ever think you might need help with depression, don’t hesitate and contact the myriad of services available.

Depression has been surrounded with stigma and it’s feared. People don’t want to talk about it, and it’s often spoken about very lightly. But that’s just stupid. Depression IS real, and it is a mental health illness, and should be talked about, blogged about, spoken about. Thank you Airdrie for helping shed some light on this thorny and often-stigmatized topic. By sharing your struggles and how you’ve faced them and you are still going strong, you help us, the general public who may not know what to do when dealing with depression. Thank you, Airdrie. I really applaud you.