Friendship in the context of social networking sites
I have previously written how many friends (and really, really good friends) I’ve gained through social media. Reading blogs, commenting on them, following and being followed on Twitter, joining Facebook, deploying a variety of social media tools. All of the above has given me the opportunity to forge new, long-lasting friendships. There’s one problem I see, though. The notion of “friend” also seems to be eroding.
A short while ago, on a blog entry that Alex Samuel wrote about the new Facebook privacy settings, I made a comment where I wrote a sentence that I found particularly powerful (I’m sorry if it sounds like I’m tooting my own horn, but I *do* love my own writing). I tweeted it yesterday and it seems to have touched a nerve.
Irresponsible misuse of the word “friend” in social networking sites has led to the erosion of meaning & value of real connections.
When I first joined Twitter (and particularly, when the number of people I followed and who followed me was quite small), I commented on my blog how I thought Twitter was a great place to hang out. A place where I would continue to foster my friendships. Twitter and my blog have, indeed, created opportunities for me to build new friendships. But I still find the casual use of the word “friend” in social networking sites rather disturbing.
The truth is, I find myself incredibly annoyed at the fact that many social networking sites call everyone with whom we interact, a “friend”. Certainly, the vast majority of my Facebook friends are actually friends of mine. But I haven’t friended a number of my actual offline friends on Facebook, for reasons that only *I* am and should be privy to. I shouldn’t have to explain to anyone how much of a friend do I consider them and assumptions shouldn’t be made on the extent to which friendship exists on the basis of our interconnectedness (or lack thereof) in a social networking site.
There are friends of mine, very good solid friends of mine who don’t follow me on Twitter. There are great friends of mine that I don’t follow on Twitter. But the problem with all these social networking sites is that using “friend” indiscriminately can create drama in so many ways it’s not even funny.
The meaning of the word friend seems to be eroding and social networking sites seem to be playing a key role in this. As for me, if I consider you a friend, you’ll know it, regardless of what our relationship on any social networking site is.
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I agree.
I couldn’t agree more. We throw around the word “friend” without thinking about what it really means. Remember the word acquaintance? Or colleague? Neither do I. Those words barely exist anymore.
You’re spot on in saying: “The meaning of the word friend seems to be eroding and social networking sites seem to be playing a key role in this”.
Great post Raul!
Twitter doesn’t use the word “friend,” it uses the word “follower” (which I think is hilarious and also rather appropriate since it is what you are doing -you are following their tweets). Also, I think a lot of people understand that not everyone you are “friends” with on Facebook are actually friends… that’s why we’ll say “so-and-so is my Facebook friend” – it distinguishes them from your actual friends.
Nothing wrong with being “friend”ly. Sounds nicer than aquaintance. The term “partner” also has awkward multiple meanings. Today I was introduced as someone’s “business partner” so that they wouldn’t assume that we were lovers.
I think people know if they are a capital F friend, whether they are on social networks or not. I consider you an friendly aquaintance Raul, (not a business aquaintance) but look forward to continuing to get to know you a little better.
Your aquaintance, -Blair
Yes friend is definitely over used why not use the word aquintance instead wouldn’t that be a more accurate definition?