Happy 19th Birthday to my niece E

Earlier this year, I was reading this blog post written by my friend Shannon and I remember clearly I commented on her post

I’m just warning you that my niece is turning 19 in March and I’m totally plagiarizing this post (changing the name, quite obviously! and adapting some stuff to the fact that she is, well, a girl).

Love you, yo – but you already knew this.

I have lived in this online world, cultivating my online space for almost 4 years (my 4th year blogiversary is at the end of April 2010, in case you wanted to know). I’ve gone from having absolute privacy and writing with a nickname to actually posting photos of myself and my friends on this, my own blog. I’ve navigated the public/private divide for long enough to discern when it’s a good idea to post a photo of mine and when it’s not.

So, in preparation for writing (as I usually do) a “happy birthday E” blog entry, I phoned her (an almost-19 year old) and asked her if she would be comfortable if I posted a photo of her on my site along with the blog entry. That’s something I usually do, and I wanted to hear whether she would feel comfortable in me doing so. She agreed, but after careful consideration, I decided against. I also decided against using her full name on my site. Instead, I’m following my own instinct and gut and I’m keeping it at “E”, without her photo.

But the way in which I pondered about including a photo of E on this entry has the same meaning and the same connotation as my relationship to her – overprotective. Debate can ensue amongst my geeky friends on whether I’m being paranoid in not naming her or sharing a photo of her, and that debate really doesn’t matter to me. I consulted with a good friend before, and he made some good suggestions. But in the end, my over-protectiveness won over my desire to share with the world just how beautiful E is.

That’s who I am, E – your uncle Rolex is an overprotectionist. Sorry!

I loved you even before you were born. I loved you from the moment I knew your Mom was pregnant, and from the moment your Dad and I commented on the fact that we were no longer kids. That we had to grow up as we had a next generation coming up. I loved you from the moment I held you in my arms, and I had the privilege of being one of the very first ones to do so at the hospital.

I wish I were as eloquent as Shannon was with her nephew, and about 50% as funny. But you’ll see, my dear E, it’s all been said and done. I’ve tried with my actions to demonstrate to you that in addition to being your uncle and your Dad’s brother, I’m also your friend. You can count on me today, tomorrow, any way. I’m proud of who you have become and how much you’ve grown.

Am I prepared to see you grow up? Not really. Every time I think about you, I worry. Not because you give me reason to worry, but because I’m overprotective. Because I don’t want anybody to hurt you. Because as your parents know, I love you (as I love your sisters) as if you were my own daughter. And that’s a hell of a lot of loving, you know?

So, I pondered, what could I say that would be of value to you that I haven’t said yet? Well, here it is, my lovely niece. Here’s the full 411 on what I recommend you do:

- Love to the fullest. You may end up having a broken heart, but you’ll survive. I did. I fell in love profoundly, I knew what love was, and then I had it taken away from me. I recovered. And if it happens to you, sweetheart, remember, no matter where I am and how many thousands of kilometres separate us, I will be there for you, in an instant.

- Work hard. This comes without saying. You know the rules my parents imposed on us (being integrated people). My success, sweetheart, is the result of many years of hard work. You know that. Same goes for your parents, and your uncles. There’s no such thing as a free lunch.

- Never lose yourself. It’s easy to fall prey to false pretenses of fame, popularity, and many other “shiny objects”. Don’t fall for that. Remember who you are and what your values are. Never let go of those.

- Remember that family first, friends second. This is particularly important at an age where your friends seem the family you choose. It’s true, they are. But nobody will love you like your family, and of your family, your parents, sisters (and of course, your uncle Rolex!)

- More importantly, remember that no matter what your life choices are, whether they seem not sound or wrong, I will always love you no matter what. I love you for the person you are, the person you’ll grow to be. I love you like the daughter I don’t have yet and I will always have that special place in my heart for you.

And if you ever, ever, ever need me, remember – I’m as far away as a Facebook email or a phone call.

Love you always,

Uncle Rolex.

Related posts:

1. Happy Sweet Sixteen to my niece N
2. Happy belated birthday @mrlady!
3. Happy birthday to my brother A!
4. My niece N is 15 today!
5. My eldest niece turns 18 today. Happy birthday, E!