Brokeback Qwitter: “I wish I knew how to Qwit you!”
I’ve been unfollowed on Twitter many, many times, and for a wide variety of reasons. At first, I did take it personally, I admit. And by at first, I mean within the first 3 months of using the service. Particularly since it was pretty much the Web 2.0 application I had signed for that allowed me to catch up with my friends in real life. Now that I am on Facebook, it’s not anymore the case. A few times in the past few months, I have declared Twitter bankruptcy and I thought to myself that I wouldn’t feel offended if the reason why some friends of mine (who are actually friends) would unfollow me on Twitter (because, even though I’ve toned it down, sometimes I am still a tad too noisy).
I also have unfollowed some people who have unfollowed me first, not because I am engaging in a reciprocal unfollow but simply because it annoys me when someone sends me a uni-lateral DM that I cannot reply to privately. And well, seeing as I’m being the person unfollowed first, I think it’s alright to regain control. I actually have suggested to Twitter that if a DM is initiated by someone who is not being followed by the other person, the recipient should have the ability to respond also as a DM.
Unfortunately, the act itself of unfollowing someone on Twitter, un-friending them on Facebook, un-whatever-ing anyone is perceived as an act of detachment and alienation. By it’s very nature, it is the breaking of a bond. Whatever relationship or bond existed between the people whose photos you could see (Flickr), whose DMs you could receive and send (Twitter), the very act of un-following/un-friending (Facebook) severs said relationship.
It would be totally cool if we all were mature enough to deal with this, but some of us may or may not be. I’ve become way cooler with people unfollowing me on Twitter, simply because I know that we’re linked in many other ways. We have each other’s phone numbers and emails, we check each other’s Flickr account every so often, etc. If a good friend unfollows me, I’ve come to assume that it’s because they find that my tweets aren’t adding value and that’s quite alright. We still see each other at meetups and other Vancouver tech community events, and I’m still good friends with them.
I don’t want ANYONE to follow me on Twitter out of obligation or some sense of reciprocity. I have a limited capacity to follow people’s tweets and I’m not really there for any sort of corporate reason. I’m on Twitter to chat and catch up with my friends, and to keep up with their lives and with what’s going on in Vancouver.
I just think that the use of Qwitter is not going to do any good. At least, it’s not going to do ME any good to know who unfollows me. I happened to notice earlier when I had relatively few followers, but right now, I’m lucky that I have so many followers I can’t really notice if anybody has unfollowed me. And for what it’s worth, I don’t really care. As long as our friendship is intact, anybody can unfollow me at will.
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