Taken out of context: The offline/online friends thing
I had an opportunity to be out today with five of my closest friends. These are people I met when I was doing my PhD and with whom I have developed a very, very strong bond. We were discussing the whole ‘civilians/bloggers’ thing and my brother made one point that really struck a chord with me. I am not surprised in the very least that he gets me so well.
Here is the thing – whenever I talk about my offline and my online friends, I use the typology “civilians/bloggers” mostly to provide context, to explain where the connections come from. Sadly, many a time this characterization of my friends has led some people to indicate to me that differentiating friends this way creates more of a chasm than I actually have ever intended to.
Truth be told, I have never intended to create a division between my online and my offline friends. There is no reason for the chasm, and frankly, I’d like people to realize that it’s not my intention. That’s all.
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In my experience, people who are offline perceive more of a gap between civilians and bloggers than people who are online. They perceive the difference as significant, qualitative, meaningful, when you and I know that it isn’t. Sure, there’s a difference between Facebook friends and the pal who would meet you at the jailhouse and put up bail, but there are differences of degree among “meatspace” friendships as well.
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This is something I’ve wondered about. You are the only person I know who uses the term “civilian” to describe offline friends. I do think the term has a negative connotation and I’ve heard you mention previously that you’ve been criticised more than once for using it, so I wonder why you persist in using the term since it does seem to be slightly offensive to some. I don’t mean this as a criticism but just as a genuine question – it’s just a word. Why not pick a different one? What’s wrong with “non-bloggers” or “offline friends,” or just describing your blog friends as “social media friends”?
I used the word “civilians” when i was in the army and they were civilians. It was an accurate term used in that context.
I don’t understand why you think because you blog and twitter you’re in the army.
Unless there’s some top secret social media army you’re part of that nobody knows about:)
maybe you just need a new term online/offline etc
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